There is something going on in my apartment building. It all started when I was got out of bed to kick the cat (and myself) out of the bedroom because Le Boo was sleeping (that's french for the boo, by the way) and i heard muttering coming from outside, so I peeked out the window and saw the super and one of his kids standing outside talking to some woman pulling a wooden crate on a dolly. they were talking about something animatedly but i was like 'whatever" and proceeded to gather my laptop, my sketch book and my markers and went into the living room to watch some lesbian paraplegic midget porn, when I heard some crazy scraping noise coming from the hall way. I went to the door (after putting pants on)and looked out my little peek hole but I couldn't see anything!!! sooo...I opened the door super slowly and quietly and noticed that the noise in question was coming from the first floor, and since I live in a building with a somewhat spiral-like staircase I peeked down and saw the super sweeping the staircase violently, like it was covered in something and he was angrily trying to get rid of it. Obviously my first thought was that this woman with the crate and he were partners in murderous crime and they just killed the guy and one of his lady friends that live under me and is hiding their decaying bodies in the crate and is burying them under the staircase and the super is sweeping away any left over saw dust or bone marrow that they might have left from putting back the stairs together.
song title: I am not a robot by Marina and the Diamonds
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Saturday, July 14, 2012
She's a crazy bitch, and that's why I love her.
Dearest Facebook friends,
I don't understand why some people feel the need to flood my news feed with depressing shit. First of all, if you're life is really as miserable as you say it is, go out and change it. A little secret, nobody is deliberately sitting at home coming up with ways to make your day(s# suck. If you are truly that depressed get up, go out and do something that makes you happy. Nobody is going to get better by just sitting around sulking.
It really pisses me off coming on here and reading all this shit. I am, for the most part, a cheerful person and I don't need your shit bringing me down. Isn't the whole point of social media to keep in contact with people long distances away? I doubt your friend who moved to Hawaii, or London, or wherever wants to hear about how shitty you're feeling.
With that said, if you do put your shit on here and someone asks "awww, what's wrong #insert name here) do you need to talk about it"? and you respond with "it's not something I want everyone to know" or "message me or text me" then DON'T POST ON HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!! Jesus Christ!!
Also, why I am ranting, I don't want to see 100 pictures of your face at the same angle every single day! Seriously? did you change so much in 3 hours that you need to post another picture of you making a duck face? Don't get me wrong, I love taking pictures of myself...all the time, but I don't need everyone on my friends list to see basically the same picture all the time. Change it up, or even better, don't take pictures of your ugly face hahaha!
title song: Crazy bitch- Rye Rye
I don't understand why some people feel the need to flood my news feed with depressing shit. First of all, if you're life is really as miserable as you say it is, go out and change it. A little secret, nobody is deliberately sitting at home coming up with ways to make your day(s# suck. If you are truly that depressed get up, go out and do something that makes you happy. Nobody is going to get better by just sitting around sulking.
It really pisses me off coming on here and reading all this shit. I am, for the most part, a cheerful person and I don't need your shit bringing me down. Isn't the whole point of social media to keep in contact with people long distances away? I doubt your friend who moved to Hawaii, or London, or wherever wants to hear about how shitty you're feeling.
With that said, if you do put your shit on here and someone asks "awww, what's wrong #insert name here) do you need to talk about it"? and you respond with "it's not something I want everyone to know" or "message me or text me" then DON'T POST ON HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!! Jesus Christ!!
Also, why I am ranting, I don't want to see 100 pictures of your face at the same angle every single day! Seriously? did you change so much in 3 hours that you need to post another picture of you making a duck face? Don't get me wrong, I love taking pictures of myself...all the time, but I don't need everyone on my friends list to see basically the same picture all the time. Change it up, or even better, don't take pictures of your ugly face hahaha!
title song: Crazy bitch- Rye Rye
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Bubblegum Bitch.
Lawdy, Lawdy, Ladwy!!! I can not believe it has been 8 months since I've last posted. I could have had a fucking mistake baby in that time period and be writting about that, but you all can sigh with relief because I am not here to tell you that I, nor Deirdre has popped out the spawn of satin and his sex slave.
I seriously can not believe how long it has been since I've posted on here. honestly, I think I kind of forgot about this blog because Instagram and Facebook and Tumblr have obsorbed all my free time thanks to their convienent applications on my phone. Maybe if Blogger got a fucking app I would post more? eh? do they have one? I don't know. if they don't they should so you all can get into my completely morbid, sexual, fucked up mind all the time *grin*
I am actually kind of cold for once since the begining of the summer. And yes, it is because of my air conditioner, but let me tell you this, ass hole (before you make some remark about that's why)...my air conditioner had been complete shit since I bought it at the oh-so-reliable Walmart *tips cowboy hat and take my hand out of my cousins pants*. I was so excited to get a new AC for our apartment and at such a good deal too, $135!!! I was like "Shit yeah" and bought it and had my friend, Christina drive me back to Brooklyn and help me install it only to find out that it is waaaaaaaaay too small for our apartment! It didn't go down past 80 degrees for the past week. It is now 75 in my apartment and I am kind of chilly...but I am not about to get all excited because my AC is working better now, it is only 75 in here because it's about 78 outide of the aparment #facepalm.
Just incase you all forgot what I look like since I last posted somethings, here's a current picture of this beautiful face:
Currently listening to: Marina and the Diamonds- Sex Yeah.
Currently listening to: Marina and the Diamonds- Sex Yeah.
Monday, November 28, 2011
I want you to be my sex slave...
guuurrrrlll it's been sooo long since I've updated this. I know how long all you loyal (imaginary) readers out there have been patiently waiting for my arrival. well, bitches, I'm baaaaaccckkk and on a brand fucking new laptop! wha wha!! I totally went out on negro Friday and bought a new laptop at walmart for $400! The boo and I are sharing it because both of our old ones are no way, Jose!
I'm super, SUPER excited for Christmas!! It's so close you can almost taste it (like your taint) and Deirdre and I put up our Christmas tree the other night. It's a combination of both of our trees so it's a little cray cray, but it's cute! I started shopping the other day and i must say that I have purchased a fuck load of stuff fo' super cheap! I have to give myself a pat on the back!
What else have I been up to, eh? Just a whole lot of nothing. And by "nothing" I mean WORKING and moving out of my casa. Werd. Deirdre and I are staying with her parents for a little until my house goes into closing and we can have enough doolalas to move into our place in Brooklyn. I'm really really thankful that they are letting us stay here (with our pet mammath, Hermione). I would totally be sleeping on the corner of 42nd and 5th right now (again) if they didn't (only this time I would be homeless and not roofied after a bad night of being a lady of the night)
Soo...I bought Rhianna's new album "Talk that talk" and I really like it! it's a million times better than "Loud" which was a bunch of bullshit. Loud my asshole. I've taken shits more exciting than that album. T^3 is really upbeat and sexy. My favorite, by far, is "birthday cake" but I'm fucking pissed that it isn't a full song! Obviously Rhianna lost some marbles up there when Chris Brown bashed her face in and she had a moment of retardation and decided to make her BEST SONG on the album an interlude. Girl needs to check herself.
In other news I really really need to take a shower because I'm pretty sure that after wearing a cashmere sweater all day and working in a 80 degree store I smell like a homeless person (and it doesn't help that I didn't do anything to my hair today so I'm rocking a fro today too). I look like a homeless, Hipster Jew and I'm none of them.
Iight, inter web (that's what Deirdre calls it. inter web) I'm going to jerk it in the shower and cry after. peace.
...set my whole body on fire.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Mama I'm in love...
...With a criminal.
I kind of really like Femme Fatale. It's no Blackout, but still.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Day light savings
with Daylight savings a week ago, I figured I'd post a short story I wrote a while ago. I actually can't remember if I've previously posted this, so if I did I'm sorry.
Daylight savings
Jane opens her eyes, blinking, trying to focus what’s around her. The legs move. Over the side of the bed, careful not to wake Henry. Toes reach the floor, heels reach the floor. Hems drop into place. 1:58. Shit. I only have three more hours. Jane apathetically walks across the room. Cold. The ground is cold. I should turn up the heat. Feet make their way to the doorway. Knobs turn. Jane enters. Floresent lights blind her. Blink. Blink. Focus. Seat up, panties down, bladder empty. Flush. The sink gets turned on. Water runs, lights die, doors close.
it’s so fucking cold. Jane makes her way to the thermostat 45? Holy fuck, Marc are you trying to kill me? Fingers reach the needle. Slide. 68. he’s fucking crazy. How the hell can he sleep like that? Jane shuffles back to the bed, arms wrapped around herself. isn’t he cold? Head to pillow. Jane rolls over facing the man laying next to her. Kiss. Henry stirs in his sleep. Eyes twitch.
“What are you doing”
Blink.
“Jane, what time is it”?
Blink.
Henry checks his watch. “It’s 2 in the morning, why the hell are you up”?
“Henry, aren’t you cold? How can you sleep when it’s so fucking cold”?
“What are you talking about? I’m dying. It’s like a sauna in here”
“What!? A sauna? It was 45 in here. I had to raise the heat”
“raise the heat? It’s the middle of summer, why would you do that”
“because it’s freezing in here”
“I swear to God, Jane you will be the death of me”
“Fuck you. I’m cold”.
“Well, come here and I’ll warm you up” Henry grabs Jane and holds her in his arms.
Kiss. what’s that? Kiss. Kiss. Taste. blood. Jane leans in close. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Thirst.
Taste.
“Baby, now you’re talking”! Henry grabs Jane. Lips touch. Hands feel. Aroused.
Taste. need it. Kiss. want it.
Henry parts his lips. Hands feel. “You like that”? need. Henry pushes Jane’s lips apart with his tongue.
Jane feels his tongue in her mouth blood, why do I taste blood. kiss. Tongue. Blood. blood. The kiss deepens. Hands feel. Hands under clothes, hard under clothes. Jane kisses her way up Henry’s neck. blood. kiss. blood. Jane can’t think. Bite. Blood.
“Ouch, Jane what the fuck”? Henry pulls away from Jane, grabbing his shoulder with his hand. “What the fuck was that I’m bleeding”
Blood. Jane takes in the smell, a mixture of sugar and metal.
“Jane, are you okay”
Gasp.
“What the FUCK? JANE!”
Taste. Blood. Gasping for air. Scream. Blood. Drink.
“Jane JANE! Stop it”! Bite. “Get off of me fucking crazy bitch”!
Taste. Rip. Tear. Black.
Henry slams the door shut. The lock clicks. “What the fuck?” He stumbles to the sink and run the water through his hands, washing the blood away. It burns. Henry looks at himself in the mirror. Blood is gushing from his shoulder. Water. Burn.
“What the-”? there is a piece of skin missing from his shoulder. Henry grabs a facecloth and applies pressure on his wound. In the mirror he notices he has more scratches and gashes all over his body.
What’s happening? Sun? why is the sun coming up this hour? Jane walks to the window. The streets are dead. Henry. Where’s Henry? Why isn’t he in bed”? Footsteps make their way to the bathroom.
Knock. Knock. Knock. The knob shakes. “Henry? Honey are you in there”?
“GET AWAY FROM ME”!
“What? What are you talking about”
“Crazy bitch”!
“What the fuck is your problem”!?
Knob stops. “Henry, open the door”!
Swish. Metal. blood
Need.
Nails rip at Henry’s flesh. Henry’s entire body burns. Every inch of him is begging to die.
Kill. Jane latches herself onto Henry, clawing at him. Blood splattering everywhere. The sun is getting brighter. Light beams into the blood splattered room. Kill.
Henry fights. Push. Punch. Cough. Cough. Stumble. Kick.
Henry grabs a hold of Jane and throws her up against the wall. Punch. Punch.
Jane laughs. Blood. Her eyes focuses on Henry’s. Kill. Attack. Jane jumps on to Henry. Henry stumbles. Stumbles back. Stumbles into the corner of Jane’s dark wood dresser. Corner meets head. Blood. Blood. Black.
The sun is bright. Eat. Jane sits on the bed. Jane sits on the blood covered bed. There is something in Jane’s lap. Jane is hunched over. Eating. The sun dims. Hiss. Jane looks up into the light. Face covered in blood. Jane hisses at the sunlight. Time is almost up. Jane goes back to her eating. Eating. Blood. Flesh. There is a trail of blood on the bed, dripping onto the floor. Drip. Drip. The drip leads to a puddle. The puddle is around something; Henry’s body. The body is ripped. The body is ripped to pieces.
The sun dims. full. Jane stops eating. sleep. Light dims. Head to pillow. Blood drips clean off the bed. Jane sleeps.
Drip. Drip. Drip. Blood falls onto Henry’s lifeless remains. Drip. Water. Water drips. Water drips into a sac of muscle. Drip. Drip. Drip. Shuffle. Stir. Water.
The light is so dim. Drip. Drip.
Shuffle.
Jane opens her eyes, blinking, trying to focus what’s around her. The legs move. Over the side of the bed, careful not to wake Henry. Toes reach the floor, heels reach the floor. 1:58. Shit. I only have three more hours.
Daylight savings
Jane opens her eyes, blinking, trying to focus what’s around her. The legs move. Over the side of the bed, careful not to wake Henry. Toes reach the floor, heels reach the floor. Hems drop into place. 1:58. Shit. I only have three more hours. Jane apathetically walks across the room. Cold. The ground is cold. I should turn up the heat. Feet make their way to the doorway. Knobs turn. Jane enters. Floresent lights blind her. Blink. Blink. Focus. Seat up, panties down, bladder empty. Flush. The sink gets turned on. Water runs, lights die, doors close.
it’s so fucking cold. Jane makes her way to the thermostat 45? Holy fuck, Marc are you trying to kill me? Fingers reach the needle. Slide. 68. he’s fucking crazy. How the hell can he sleep like that? Jane shuffles back to the bed, arms wrapped around herself. isn’t he cold? Head to pillow. Jane rolls over facing the man laying next to her. Kiss. Henry stirs in his sleep. Eyes twitch.
“What are you doing”
Blink.
“Jane, what time is it”?
Blink.
Henry checks his watch. “It’s 2 in the morning, why the hell are you up”?
“Henry, aren’t you cold? How can you sleep when it’s so fucking cold”?
“What are you talking about? I’m dying. It’s like a sauna in here”
“What!? A sauna? It was 45 in here. I had to raise the heat”
“raise the heat? It’s the middle of summer, why would you do that”
“because it’s freezing in here”
“I swear to God, Jane you will be the death of me”
“Fuck you. I’m cold”.
“Well, come here and I’ll warm you up” Henry grabs Jane and holds her in his arms.
Kiss. what’s that? Kiss. Kiss. Taste. blood. Jane leans in close. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Thirst.
Taste.
“Baby, now you’re talking”! Henry grabs Jane. Lips touch. Hands feel. Aroused.
Taste. need it. Kiss. want it.
Henry parts his lips. Hands feel. “You like that”? need. Henry pushes Jane’s lips apart with his tongue.
Jane feels his tongue in her mouth blood, why do I taste blood. kiss. Tongue. Blood. blood. The kiss deepens. Hands feel. Hands under clothes, hard under clothes. Jane kisses her way up Henry’s neck. blood. kiss. blood. Jane can’t think. Bite. Blood.
“Ouch, Jane what the fuck”? Henry pulls away from Jane, grabbing his shoulder with his hand. “What the fuck was that I’m bleeding”
Blood. Jane takes in the smell, a mixture of sugar and metal.
“Jane, are you okay”
Gasp.
“What the FUCK? JANE!”
Taste. Blood. Gasping for air. Scream. Blood. Drink.
“Jane JANE! Stop it”! Bite. “Get off of me fucking crazy bitch”!
Taste. Rip. Tear. Black.
Henry slams the door shut. The lock clicks. “What the fuck?” He stumbles to the sink and run the water through his hands, washing the blood away. It burns. Henry looks at himself in the mirror. Blood is gushing from his shoulder. Water. Burn.
“What the-”? there is a piece of skin missing from his shoulder. Henry grabs a facecloth and applies pressure on his wound. In the mirror he notices he has more scratches and gashes all over his body.
What’s happening? Sun? why is the sun coming up this hour? Jane walks to the window. The streets are dead. Henry. Where’s Henry? Why isn’t he in bed”? Footsteps make their way to the bathroom.
Knock. Knock. Knock. The knob shakes. “Henry? Honey are you in there”?
“GET AWAY FROM ME”!
“What? What are you talking about”
“Crazy bitch”!
“What the fuck is your problem”!?
Knob stops. “Henry, open the door”!
Swish. Metal. blood
Need.
Nails rip at Henry’s flesh. Henry’s entire body burns. Every inch of him is begging to die.
Kill. Jane latches herself onto Henry, clawing at him. Blood splattering everywhere. The sun is getting brighter. Light beams into the blood splattered room. Kill.
Henry fights. Push. Punch. Cough. Cough. Stumble. Kick.
Henry grabs a hold of Jane and throws her up against the wall. Punch. Punch.
Jane laughs. Blood. Her eyes focuses on Henry’s. Kill. Attack. Jane jumps on to Henry. Henry stumbles. Stumbles back. Stumbles into the corner of Jane’s dark wood dresser. Corner meets head. Blood. Blood. Black.
The sun is bright. Eat. Jane sits on the bed. Jane sits on the blood covered bed. There is something in Jane’s lap. Jane is hunched over. Eating. The sun dims. Hiss. Jane looks up into the light. Face covered in blood. Jane hisses at the sunlight. Time is almost up. Jane goes back to her eating. Eating. Blood. Flesh. There is a trail of blood on the bed, dripping onto the floor. Drip. Drip. The drip leads to a puddle. The puddle is around something; Henry’s body. The body is ripped. The body is ripped to pieces.
The sun dims. full. Jane stops eating. sleep. Light dims. Head to pillow. Blood drips clean off the bed. Jane sleeps.
Drip. Drip. Drip. Blood falls onto Henry’s lifeless remains. Drip. Water. Water drips. Water drips into a sac of muscle. Drip. Drip. Drip. Shuffle. Stir. Water.
The light is so dim. Drip. Drip.
Shuffle.
Jane opens her eyes, blinking, trying to focus what’s around her. The legs move. Over the side of the bed, careful not to wake Henry. Toes reach the floor, heels reach the floor. 1:58. Shit. I only have three more hours.
Hello Aunt Spanish, you look bonita.
Obviously I have some sort of sleeping problem. It seems that evert time I should be sleeping, I can’t. see the thing is, I took a quick nap (by quick I mean 3 hour) and now I can’t sleep…this might also be because I made myself an iced coffee right after I took a nap, so that on top of my mini coma made me super awake and now it is once again, 2:30 in the morning and I am wide awake.
In other news Boo and I have been watching Ugly betty. I love this show sooooo fucking much. I wish it never got canceled. It was amazing. I love the Suarez family. When Deirdre and I move to queens we have to befriend them (because they are real, I refuse to believe they aren’t)
Anyway, I’m bored. Peace.
In other news Boo and I have been watching Ugly betty. I love this show sooooo fucking much. I wish it never got canceled. It was amazing. I love the Suarez family. When Deirdre and I move to queens we have to befriend them (because they are real, I refuse to believe they aren’t)
Anyway, I’m bored. Peace.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Rolling in the deep
Sooo… it’s been a while since I’ve written anything in this…that could be because I kind of sort have maybe forgotten about this little blog of mine here until about three days ago when I was rummaging thru old files and there was that story I was working on saved on my computer and a little, eco friendly light bulb popped on in my head and reminded me that I have an awesome, hysterical blog somewhere lingering on the interweb (that’s what Deirdre calls it btw) so I’m back and with vengeance…at least for now anyway.
It’s about 12:40 in the morning and I’m wide awake due to my five hour nap I took earlier in the day when I came home, kicked off my shoes and was going to “lay down and take a quick cat nape” but obviously I was in a cat coma and next thing I know it’s 10:00 and boo is texting me telling me she’s leaving work and on her way home.
I kind of forgot what I wanted to write in here…so I guess I’ll just ramble. Btw, I’m totally sitting on my floor, with like six blankets and a body pillow (mostly because my room is an ice box for some reason, and because the typing was too loud for boo, who’s peacefully snoring away as I type). Let me paint you a picture of what I look like right now; I’m wearing a t shirt and bright orange boxers with fish on them. Curled up on my floor in a mound of blankets on a electric blue, zebra body pillow and my laptop with me…normally this wouldn’t be weird but you see, the screen on my laptop is broken, so I have it hooked up to a computer monitor so I can see what the fuck I’m looking at. Sooo…I’m tangled in these blankets with wires of all sorts and a fucking computer screen sitting next to me and a laptop on my lap. How fucking ghetto is that? I’m going to fit in perfectly in Queens if we get that apartment.
What apartment you may ask? Well, Deirdre and I have been looking into apartments because my parents are moving, and I’m trying to move up at work and make a living, so deirdre and I have decided to shack up : ) we (by we I mean Deirdre) found this AMAZING apartment on craigs list that sounded way too good to be true, but it was/is 110% legit! There was a link to the complexes website and everything. Anyway, it’s a one bedroom with four closets, in a complex that has a Laundromat, a gym, and a shopping center on site, 24/7 security, a watering hole for children to drink out of in the middle, and it’s on the FUCKING BEACH! It’s literally like apartment, boardwalk, beach. AMAZING right? Right!
In other news I’m beyond excited that the weather has been getting warmer. Besides the 150 mph winds (and the fear of being blown away every time I open my umbrella or put on a nun costume) the weather has been nice lately. It’s getting me excited for summer and everyone knows what the summer does to me…Andrew becomes an alcoholic once again. I can’t wait to sit outside and roast marshmallows and drink. Oh how I yearn for the sweet taste of tequila hitting the back of my throat and boys taking advantage of me once again. Oh summer, how I’ve missed thee.
One would think that because it’s so late, and I kind of want to go to sleep (but just can’t) that I would drink water, or warm milk to make me sleepy, but do I? nope. I’m sitting here with basically a gallon of homemade iced tea (which apparently has more caffeine than coffee?) so obviously I won’t be sleeping anytime soon.
I’ve been wanting new glasses for like, six years so the amazing Christine Holt ( check out her music page huuuurrreeeee: ) introduced me to this wonderful, wonderful website called WARBY PARKER, and it’s a site where you pick out five pairs of glasses you like and they send them to you for a at-home try on…for FREE! You get to keep them up to five days, and as long as you send them back within the five days you’re bank account won’t be charged a cent. I tried on my five pairs and can’t decide which ones I want (actually that’s a lie; I know which ones I want I just want everyone to tell me how good I look) the following images are of the five pairs I tried on. Leave a comment below to tell me which one you think I should get!
*sigh* I finished my iced tea and am still fo real thirsty. I need to invest in a black friend.
What else to talk about? Hmm… I’m listeing to Adele (<3). I found her while I was channel surfing upstate a few years ago when her video for ‘Chasing pavements’ was on and I thought she was that tall, thin girl in the video, but nope, she was actually the heavy girl hiding behind the tree and sitting in the car. I was really mad, because she’s sooooooo talented and really pretty. I was kind of disgusted because I felt bad for her and thought America made her hide herself and replaced her with this attractive girl for people to look at. Well, Fuck you America! She’s amazing! I kind of don’t like that she’s getting super famous now though, because that means everyone will start to listen to her. I like being a part of a select few that listen to not to well known artist. It makes me feel special, shut up. This is lady gaga all over.
There's a fire starting in my heart,
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark
It’s about 12:40 in the morning and I’m wide awake due to my five hour nap I took earlier in the day when I came home, kicked off my shoes and was going to “lay down and take a quick cat nape” but obviously I was in a cat coma and next thing I know it’s 10:00 and boo is texting me telling me she’s leaving work and on her way home.
I kind of forgot what I wanted to write in here…so I guess I’ll just ramble. Btw, I’m totally sitting on my floor, with like six blankets and a body pillow (mostly because my room is an ice box for some reason, and because the typing was too loud for boo, who’s peacefully snoring away as I type). Let me paint you a picture of what I look like right now; I’m wearing a t shirt and bright orange boxers with fish on them. Curled up on my floor in a mound of blankets on a electric blue, zebra body pillow and my laptop with me…normally this wouldn’t be weird but you see, the screen on my laptop is broken, so I have it hooked up to a computer monitor so I can see what the fuck I’m looking at. Sooo…I’m tangled in these blankets with wires of all sorts and a fucking computer screen sitting next to me and a laptop on my lap. How fucking ghetto is that? I’m going to fit in perfectly in Queens if we get that apartment.
What apartment you may ask? Well, Deirdre and I have been looking into apartments because my parents are moving, and I’m trying to move up at work and make a living, so deirdre and I have decided to shack up : ) we (by we I mean Deirdre) found this AMAZING apartment on craigs list that sounded way too good to be true, but it was/is 110% legit! There was a link to the complexes website and everything. Anyway, it’s a one bedroom with four closets, in a complex that has a Laundromat, a gym, and a shopping center on site, 24/7 security, a watering hole for children to drink out of in the middle, and it’s on the FUCKING BEACH! It’s literally like apartment, boardwalk, beach. AMAZING right? Right!
In other news I’m beyond excited that the weather has been getting warmer. Besides the 150 mph winds (and the fear of being blown away every time I open my umbrella or put on a nun costume) the weather has been nice lately. It’s getting me excited for summer and everyone knows what the summer does to me…Andrew becomes an alcoholic once again. I can’t wait to sit outside and roast marshmallows and drink. Oh how I yearn for the sweet taste of tequila hitting the back of my throat and boys taking advantage of me once again. Oh summer, how I’ve missed thee.
One would think that because it’s so late, and I kind of want to go to sleep (but just can’t) that I would drink water, or warm milk to make me sleepy, but do I? nope. I’m sitting here with basically a gallon of homemade iced tea (which apparently has more caffeine than coffee?) so obviously I won’t be sleeping anytime soon.
I’ve been wanting new glasses for like, six years so the amazing Christine Holt ( check out her music page huuuurrreeeee: ) introduced me to this wonderful, wonderful website called WARBY PARKER, and it’s a site where you pick out five pairs of glasses you like and they send them to you for a at-home try on…for FREE! You get to keep them up to five days, and as long as you send them back within the five days you’re bank account won’t be charged a cent. I tried on my five pairs and can’t decide which ones I want (actually that’s a lie; I know which ones I want I just want everyone to tell me how good I look) the following images are of the five pairs I tried on. Leave a comment below to tell me which one you think I should get!
*sigh* I finished my iced tea and am still fo real thirsty. I need to invest in a black friend.
What else to talk about? Hmm… I’m listeing to Adele (<3). I found her while I was channel surfing upstate a few years ago when her video for ‘Chasing pavements’ was on and I thought she was that tall, thin girl in the video, but nope, she was actually the heavy girl hiding behind the tree and sitting in the car. I was really mad, because she’s sooooooo talented and really pretty. I was kind of disgusted because I felt bad for her and thought America made her hide herself and replaced her with this attractive girl for people to look at. Well, Fuck you America! She’s amazing! I kind of don’t like that she’s getting super famous now though, because that means everyone will start to listen to her. I like being a part of a select few that listen to not to well known artist. It makes me feel special, shut up. This is lady gaga all over.
There's a fire starting in my heart,
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark
Friday, July 16, 2010
Holy shit ballz….
What ze fuck have I been up to? Seriously, I have no idea. I guess I could sit here and write about getting into school and looking for apartments and shit like that, but I feel like that’s something I should have written over time, and not at once…ya dig?
Anywho, It’s about three in the morning, and I, of course, got a second wind after I got home from Deirdre’s house and am now watching ‘All grown up’ on netflix because I’m obviously a seven year old.
I feel like I have so much shit to talk about but I can’t think of any of it. I need new glasses, like fo real real. I’ve had the same pair for almost five years, and I’m too po’ to keep buying new contacts every three months (which is probably why I wear a pair a month at a time and don’t take them out [which is probably why I’ve been suffering from intense headaches often. Go figure.])
*leaves computer and eats almost an entire bag of cool ranch Doritos while having a text convo with deirdre*
I am unimpressed with this blog. Suck my taint.
-A
Anywho, It’s about three in the morning, and I, of course, got a second wind after I got home from Deirdre’s house and am now watching ‘All grown up’ on netflix because I’m obviously a seven year old.
I feel like I have so much shit to talk about but I can’t think of any of it. I need new glasses, like fo real real. I’ve had the same pair for almost five years, and I’m too po’ to keep buying new contacts every three months (which is probably why I wear a pair a month at a time and don’t take them out [which is probably why I’ve been suffering from intense headaches often. Go figure.])
*leaves computer and eats almost an entire bag of cool ranch Doritos while having a text convo with deirdre*
I am unimpressed with this blog. Suck my taint.
-A
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
True Life: I'm a shopaholic
It has come to my attention that I, Andrew Steven Meissner am a shopaholic. I realized this months, no, years ago, but did nothing about it. From now on, however, I am going to *try* to not spend money as much as I do...mainly because papa needs a new set of wheels, but also in the long run it would be nice to have money in da bank, ya mean?
Anyway, after coming to this realization that I am addicted to spending money I decided to clean up my room and make it all pretty and more organized. While doing so I counted most of my clothes and here is the inventory:
Tops (including Shirts, Sweaters, and Sweatshirts): 135...ish
Bottoms (including pants, Jeans, and Shorts): 25...ish
Shoes: 20...ish
Jackets: 2
Suits: 2 (well technically one suit and one tux but whatever)
Ties: 15...ish
Belts: 4
Suspenders: 2
Hats: 10
Scarves: 15...ish
Sunglasses: 20...ish
Why do I have over twenty pairs of shoes? do I really need them all? no. Do I wear them all? no, but I have over twenty pairs of shoes...and that is not counting what is under my bed, that is why there is an "ish" after some of the count.
I have a problem, and I really need to start working on it. le sigh.
Anyway, here are the results of my room purge:
These are some shirts rolled up into boxes I took from work :)
This is where the magic happens.
nom nom nom.
This is my other girlfriend, Chocolaundra.
Best wall of the whole closet :)
Anyway, after coming to this realization that I am addicted to spending money I decided to clean up my room and make it all pretty and more organized. While doing so I counted most of my clothes and here is the inventory:
Tops (including Shirts, Sweaters, and Sweatshirts): 135...ish
Bottoms (including pants, Jeans, and Shorts): 25...ish
Shoes: 20...ish
Jackets: 2
Suits: 2 (well technically one suit and one tux but whatever)
Ties: 15...ish
Belts: 4
Suspenders: 2
Hats: 10
Scarves: 15...ish
Sunglasses: 20...ish
Why do I have over twenty pairs of shoes? do I really need them all? no. Do I wear them all? no, but I have over twenty pairs of shoes...and that is not counting what is under my bed, that is why there is an "ish" after some of the count.
I have a problem, and I really need to start working on it. le sigh.
Anyway, here are the results of my room purge:
These are some shirts rolled up into boxes I took from work :)
This is where the magic happens.
nom nom nom.
This is my other girlfriend, Chocolaundra.
Best wall of the whole closet :)
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Imma be Imma be Imma Imma Imma be.
Dear friends/readers,
It has come to my attention that I have not posted an actual eventful blog in a very, very long time. I am sorry if I have disappointed any of my loyal *eye roll* readers out there that just can’t get enough of my telling about every moment of my life. I know that some, okay, most of you losers sitting at your computer look up to me like I am some sort of God, but this nigga has a life and can’t just sit around typing out this shit for you all. Sucka please.
Anyway, a lot of shit has happened since October, 2009. The most important and most obvious is that it is now 2010. Duh, shitface. I am going to try very hard to remember specific details about the past few months so that ya’ll can paint a picture in your head….here we go:
October: I was a zombie for Halloween. Every year I spend months and months planning my Halloween costume and every year, at the last minute I change it to something along the lines of a zombie. This past Halloween I went on a prosthetic binge and bought as much fake shit as I could to glue all over my body. I must say that I looked pretty fucking awesome. Half of my face was a skull, and I had burns and cuts and blood all over my body. *buffs nails* sometimes I amaze myself…also I shaved all my hair off sometimes that month, before Halloween.
November: all I can remember from November is that I had a really good thanksgiving.
Christmas this past year was pretty good. I had gotten around $750 from family and friends to put towards a new car. Where is that money now? Not in my bank account I can tell you that. Once again I am ’po, motha fuckas!
What else has been going on in my life? Lets start about work…H&M and I have a love/hate relationship. The thing is that I love it when I’m not there, but once I have to actually be there (and I’m not dressing mannequins) I hate it. As of January 4th I am now in the ladies department, which means a lot more running and a lot less cleaning which can be a good thing, and it taught me that I need to work on my time management skills. I actually really like ladies. it’s a lot different from the mens department and I need to learn how to merchandise their shit the ’H&M’ way and not the Andrew way…which is what I was doing in mens, haha. I am hopefully, hopefully going to be able to work my way up to an actual visual and not just a full timer who helps with the visual work. I really want to be one. I would like my job even more if all I had to do throughout the day was dress mannequins in the window and make the store pretty :]
Work has also brought love…I am now currently in an actual relationship, not just serial dating. As of January 7th, miss Deirdre Reilly and I are a couple…a couple of racist, baby killing bitches that is. Things are going rather well *knock wood* and I am very much happy :] I’m glad that I can make rude comments and really fucked up racist jokes and someone besides me will laugh…and I guess I like that’s she’s kind of really cute too *eye roll* :]
So tomorrow is Deirdre and my first valentines day together and we are going to the melting pot, a crazy ridiculously expensive fondue restaurant that I can not wait to eat at. We’re getting a five course meal equipped with fondue, sorbet, ice cream fondue thingy, salads, lobster, fillet mignon, chicken, and a bunch of other shit. Omg. Nom nom nom. I can’t wait. We’re going with her sister, her sisters fiancé, and their friends and I’m so excited. Raaah! Hehehe.
Peace out!
Love, Andrew
ps: I now have yellow hair :)
It has come to my attention that I have not posted an actual eventful blog in a very, very long time. I am sorry if I have disappointed any of my loyal *eye roll* readers out there that just can’t get enough of my telling about every moment of my life. I know that some, okay, most of you losers sitting at your computer look up to me like I am some sort of God, but this nigga has a life and can’t just sit around typing out this shit for you all. Sucka please.
Anyway, a lot of shit has happened since October, 2009. The most important and most obvious is that it is now 2010. Duh, shitface. I am going to try very hard to remember specific details about the past few months so that ya’ll can paint a picture in your head….here we go:
October: I was a zombie for Halloween. Every year I spend months and months planning my Halloween costume and every year, at the last minute I change it to something along the lines of a zombie. This past Halloween I went on a prosthetic binge and bought as much fake shit as I could to glue all over my body. I must say that I looked pretty fucking awesome. Half of my face was a skull, and I had burns and cuts and blood all over my body. *buffs nails* sometimes I amaze myself…also I shaved all my hair off sometimes that month, before Halloween.
November: all I can remember from November is that I had a really good thanksgiving.
Christmas this past year was pretty good. I had gotten around $750 from family and friends to put towards a new car. Where is that money now? Not in my bank account I can tell you that. Once again I am ’po, motha fuckas!
What else has been going on in my life? Lets start about work…H&M and I have a love/hate relationship. The thing is that I love it when I’m not there, but once I have to actually be there (and I’m not dressing mannequins) I hate it. As of January 4th I am now in the ladies department, which means a lot more running and a lot less cleaning which can be a good thing, and it taught me that I need to work on my time management skills. I actually really like ladies. it’s a lot different from the mens department and I need to learn how to merchandise their shit the ’H&M’ way and not the Andrew way…which is what I was doing in mens, haha. I am hopefully, hopefully going to be able to work my way up to an actual visual and not just a full timer who helps with the visual work. I really want to be one. I would like my job even more if all I had to do throughout the day was dress mannequins in the window and make the store pretty :]
Work has also brought love…I am now currently in an actual relationship, not just serial dating. As of January 7th, miss Deirdre Reilly and I are a couple…a couple of racist, baby killing bitches that is. Things are going rather well *knock wood* and I am very much happy :] I’m glad that I can make rude comments and really fucked up racist jokes and someone besides me will laugh…and I guess I like that’s she’s kind of really cute too *eye roll* :]
So tomorrow is Deirdre and my first valentines day together and we are going to the melting pot, a crazy ridiculously expensive fondue restaurant that I can not wait to eat at. We’re getting a five course meal equipped with fondue, sorbet, ice cream fondue thingy, salads, lobster, fillet mignon, chicken, and a bunch of other shit. Omg. Nom nom nom. I can’t wait. We’re going with her sister, her sisters fiancé, and their friends and I’m so excited. Raaah! Hehehe.
Peace out!
Love, Andrew
ps: I now have yellow hair :)
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Good bye twenty oh nine.
And hello twenty ten. I can not believe that 360 days ago I was sitting down (in frans dining room) typing a blog about how much I thought 2009 would suck…and I was wrong for the most part. I actually had a pretty good 2009, there were a lot of changes that happened and I did some growing up which only made me even more awesome ;)
Lets see, what has happened this past year?
January: Hmm… I brought in the new year by singing karaoke with Fran, Ryan and Bfll. We drank and hung out. I worked my last few shifts at good ol KB toys.
February: all I can remember from February is spending about $100 on supplies to make my mom a gorgeous birthday cake. I think I went on a date with that girl Caitlin sometimes around then too…*shrug* oh! Lmfao, and KB officially closed and I got an extra $300 in my last pay check. Oops.
March: OK cupid took over my life. I was re reading old emails and I TOTALLY forgot about that little fling I had with that chocolate JAI latte. All I did was sit around and watch TV because I was totally unemployed. OMG the britney spears concert! How could I forget that? I’m an ass.
April: Jenny’s 22nd birthday at Chili’s. that’s when my car started acting weird. I played dad to my brothers when my parents went away for a week. I went on my interview to H&M sometime at the end of the month and things started to look up. Bffl moved away, which was sad.
May: new job, new school goals, new Andrew. This is when H&M started to rule my life. With a new income came new things. I totally redid my room from ceiling to floor (literally. I ripped up my rug one morning). I went on the FIT interview where my portfolio blew everyone elses out of the water. I went to my first H&M outing where I drank and danced all night. One…two…three…I LOVE YOU! Hahaha!
June: The big O. the big Two oh, that is. No longer was I a teenager. Settled for Applebees for my birthday, but had a really good time. I treated myself to a new tattoo ^_^
*bffl got married sometime around here*
July: White trash partaaay! Naked marco polo. Boobies all over the place! Finding out my mom liked spur of the moment sex.
August: umm…augusty stuff. Decided not to go back to school.
September: started to work at the office. Buzzed all my hair off. Clean start.
October: ZOMBIE. Best Halloween makeup job. Ever. Spending over $300 on makeup. Left the office for full time at H&M.
November: best thanksgiving with the family. More hours at work means even more income which means even more new things.
December: money. Crazy working hours. Being stuck on a train with a cop. Bonding over dead baby jokes.
And here I am. Writing this.
Obviously there was a lot more that happened throughout the year, I just don’t remember. All in all I would have to say that 2009 wasn’t too shabby. Lets see what 2010 has to offer.
2009:
2010:
Lets see, what has happened this past year?
January: Hmm… I brought in the new year by singing karaoke with Fran, Ryan and Bfll. We drank and hung out. I worked my last few shifts at good ol KB toys.
February: all I can remember from February is spending about $100 on supplies to make my mom a gorgeous birthday cake. I think I went on a date with that girl Caitlin sometimes around then too…*shrug* oh! Lmfao, and KB officially closed and I got an extra $300 in my last pay check. Oops.
March: OK cupid took over my life. I was re reading old emails and I TOTALLY forgot about that little fling I had with that chocolate JAI latte. All I did was sit around and watch TV because I was totally unemployed. OMG the britney spears concert! How could I forget that? I’m an ass.
April: Jenny’s 22nd birthday at Chili’s. that’s when my car started acting weird. I played dad to my brothers when my parents went away for a week. I went on my interview to H&M sometime at the end of the month and things started to look up. Bffl moved away, which was sad.
May: new job, new school goals, new Andrew. This is when H&M started to rule my life. With a new income came new things. I totally redid my room from ceiling to floor (literally. I ripped up my rug one morning). I went on the FIT interview where my portfolio blew everyone elses out of the water. I went to my first H&M outing where I drank and danced all night. One…two…three…I LOVE YOU! Hahaha!
June: The big O. the big Two oh, that is. No longer was I a teenager. Settled for Applebees for my birthday, but had a really good time. I treated myself to a new tattoo ^_^
*bffl got married sometime around here*
July: White trash partaaay! Naked marco polo. Boobies all over the place! Finding out my mom liked spur of the moment sex.
August: umm…augusty stuff. Decided not to go back to school.
September: started to work at the office. Buzzed all my hair off. Clean start.
October: ZOMBIE. Best Halloween makeup job. Ever. Spending over $300 on makeup. Left the office for full time at H&M.
November: best thanksgiving with the family. More hours at work means even more income which means even more new things.
December: money. Crazy working hours. Being stuck on a train with a cop. Bonding over dead baby jokes.
And here I am. Writing this.
Obviously there was a lot more that happened throughout the year, I just don’t remember. All in all I would have to say that 2009 wasn’t too shabby. Lets see what 2010 has to offer.
2009:
2010:
Monday, October 12, 2009
d.e.a.d
okay, so i stumbled upon this website where some girl took photos off a bunch of people and asked them all what they want to do before they die, and like i predicted they were mostly all boring, like "before I die i want to know everything's okay" or "before I die i want to meet obama" or "Before I die i want to make everyone feel special" and shit like that, but this guy was my favorite:
I loved this guy. I thought he was hysterical. i'm pretty sure he took this challenge as 'how do you want to die' instead of what you want to do *before* you die...which actually i guess that works: i guess this is what he wants to do moments before he dies? Hmm...
anyway, it got me thinking, being the morbid person I am, what do I want to do before I die? honestly, i don't think that there is a specific thing that i want to do, but more of a bunch of cliche things, like fall in love and have a kid, and move out of my parents house, and blah blah blah. all that bullshit, but i would also like to be known in the world somehow, like I want people to be like "Oh, Andrew Meissner? Yeah i've heard of him" of course i'd like to be famous, but if not then i want to do something so people still know me even if i'm not a celebrity.
In other news, I moved my treadmill downstairs into my room so i've been doing that everynight *grin* and hopefully it'll work. I also bought a sauna suit (which is basically two garbage bags with elastic at the ends) and it makes you sweat like CRAZY! my room actually smells like a gym after i use the treadmill because the suit makes you so goddamn sweaty. it's disgusting but I looove it.
I'm also doing a little experiment: on Glee (woah!) the school nurse gave the kids allergy medicine to increase their energy and awareness because it has pseudoephedrine in it and made them all really hyper...so i went out and bought a box of allergy medicine and am taking it to see if it actually had the same effect as it did on the show...i know, I'm loco.
I loved this guy. I thought he was hysterical. i'm pretty sure he took this challenge as 'how do you want to die' instead of what you want to do *before* you die...which actually i guess that works: i guess this is what he wants to do moments before he dies? Hmm...anyway, it got me thinking, being the morbid person I am, what do I want to do before I die? honestly, i don't think that there is a specific thing that i want to do, but more of a bunch of cliche things, like fall in love and have a kid, and move out of my parents house, and blah blah blah. all that bullshit, but i would also like to be known in the world somehow, like I want people to be like "Oh, Andrew Meissner? Yeah i've heard of him" of course i'd like to be famous, but if not then i want to do something so people still know me even if i'm not a celebrity.
In other news, I moved my treadmill downstairs into my room so i've been doing that everynight *grin* and hopefully it'll work. I also bought a sauna suit (which is basically two garbage bags with elastic at the ends) and it makes you sweat like CRAZY! my room actually smells like a gym after i use the treadmill because the suit makes you so goddamn sweaty. it's disgusting but I looove it.
I'm also doing a little experiment: on Glee (woah!) the school nurse gave the kids allergy medicine to increase their energy and awareness because it has pseudoephedrine in it and made them all really hyper...so i went out and bought a box of allergy medicine and am taking it to see if it actually had the same effect as it did on the show...i know, I'm loco.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
shake your kitty.
Who are you texting? No one at the moment.
Why aren't you in love with your last ex anymore? Because I love jesus now.
Do you think anyone has feelings for you? *smirk*
How late did you stay up last night and why? Um.. 2ish? Because I can never sleep anymore.
What do you currently hear right now? Lady Gaga.
Do you smoke crack everyday? Yes ma’am.
When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? Yesterday.
Who was the first person you talked to today? Myself.
Have you ever ridden a horse? Only a pony when I was wee wittle.
Have you ever cried so much you threw up? Yeah, I have.
What are you looking forward to in the next month? HALLOWEEN!!!!!!! *gets boner*
Are you anything like you were at this point last year? Not at all.
Are you wearing jeans right now? Werd.
Have you lost contact with someone you wish you didn't? no.
What's something you do when you're mad? Blow shit up.
Are you a patient person? Not at all.
Would you rather be mad or sad? Mad.
Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months? I have.
Do you ever use words like stoked, souped or sick? I aint no paper gangsta
When was the last time you cried? Ummm…I actually have no clue.
Closest green object to you? My hat.
Where is your default picture taken? My bathroom.
What is your current mood? Tummy achey…?
If you could go back in time and change something, would you? No.
Favorite color? I think purple.
What's your favorite smell? *blush*
Ever kissed in the rain? Nom nom nom
What are you thinking about right now? Showering.
What should you be doing? Nothing.
Do you like working in the yard? Um. No.
What color are your eyes? Golden brown with specs of gold and green in them. They’re yummy.
Is there someone you just can't imagine your life without? Umm…yeah, I guess.
Where did you get your last bruise from? Umm…I don’t know if I have any bruises right now.
Have you ever got a D or F on your report card? No.
If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be? Meissner.
Were you happy when you woke up today? I wanted to go back to bed, but yeah.
Do you believe in true love? Um…I believe you can love someone forever, but I don’t know if you can just love one person.
Will your next kiss be a mistake? Who knows.
Why aren't you in love with your last ex anymore? Because I love jesus now.
Do you think anyone has feelings for you? *smirk*
How late did you stay up last night and why? Um.. 2ish? Because I can never sleep anymore.
What do you currently hear right now? Lady Gaga.
Do you smoke crack everyday? Yes ma’am.
When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? Yesterday.
Who was the first person you talked to today? Myself.
Have you ever ridden a horse? Only a pony when I was wee wittle.
Have you ever cried so much you threw up? Yeah, I have.
What are you looking forward to in the next month? HALLOWEEN!!!!!!! *gets boner*
Are you anything like you were at this point last year? Not at all.
Are you wearing jeans right now? Werd.
Have you lost contact with someone you wish you didn't? no.
What's something you do when you're mad? Blow shit up.
Are you a patient person? Not at all.
Would you rather be mad or sad? Mad.
Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months? I have.
Do you ever use words like stoked, souped or sick? I aint no paper gangsta
When was the last time you cried? Ummm…I actually have no clue.
Closest green object to you? My hat.
Where is your default picture taken? My bathroom.
What is your current mood? Tummy achey…?
If you could go back in time and change something, would you? No.
Favorite color? I think purple.
What's your favorite smell? *blush*
Ever kissed in the rain? Nom nom nom
What are you thinking about right now? Showering.
What should you be doing? Nothing.
Do you like working in the yard? Um. No.
What color are your eyes? Golden brown with specs of gold and green in them. They’re yummy.
Is there someone you just can't imagine your life without? Umm…yeah, I guess.
Where did you get your last bruise from? Umm…I don’t know if I have any bruises right now.
Have you ever got a D or F on your report card? No.
If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be? Meissner.
Were you happy when you woke up today? I wanted to go back to bed, but yeah.
Do you believe in true love? Um…I believe you can love someone forever, but I don’t know if you can just love one person.
Will your next kiss be a mistake? Who knows.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Bratz, the movie review.
Umm, okay, so i rented the Bratz movie (because i'm a preteen girl) and i just have to say that it is the most ridiculous movie i've ever watched. first of all, aren't the bratz dolls supposed to be um, gorgeous and really into fashion? well...umm except for Sasha (the only pretty one) they don't dress very well.
this is also one of the most stereotypical movies i'e ever watched:
Cloe: blonde, lives in a nice home, pretty, only catch is she isn't very girly. she's sporty and poor apparently.
Jade: Asian. parents expect things from her. in science club. first day of school she makes fireworks in lab class.
Yasmin: Spanish. walks out of her room to an ENTIRE MEXICAN BAND in her kitchen. has no friends. figures.
Sasha: Black, but instead of not having a father, her parents are split up and hate eachother. she's a cheerleader (i guess because this school doesn't have a step team).
then there is this deaf kid who Yasmin bumps into and i think they are going to get it on later in the movie.
THEN!!!! the girls SPLIT UP and aren't friends anymore because they joined cliques (except Yasmin), and two years go by and everyone looks EXACTLY the same!!!
now i'm up to the part where the black music teacher is trying to make the deaf kid "feel the music" by having him put his hand on the speaker while he scratches the records.
OH!! and this school has a "people who like to dress as dinosaurs" click, and apparently you can bring your dog to school in this movie.
now there's a whole food fight scene because they all spilled spaghetti on each other and teachers are in on it...
now the huge bust of their principal fell and broke, because ya know, all schools have a bust of their principals. I know i did.
now they all have detention and are calling each other names. now sasha is giving sass and apparently cloe aint got no dad.
now yasmin is all "Oooo you shouldn't have said that nigga"
god, now they're all apologizing.
cloe kind of likes lady gaga, fyi.
now they all are planning on taking control of their lives and be themselves and not be in their cliques anymore.
JESUS CHRIST this movie is AWFUL!
okay, now they are all friends again, and Yasmins "Bubbie" is the mother from my big fat greek wedding, and she loves chocolate and gives yasmin shoes for chocolate.
and now there is auditions for the talent show...oh, and did you know that Dylan is totally into Yasmin because he never looks her in the eye, talks to her or remembers her name? um.. maybe because he's too busy reading your lips to look you in the eyes, sounds like a retard when he talks and can't fucking pronounce your name because he's DEAF?!?! did you ever think of that, chica?
um okay, now everyone is staring at them because they're all eating lunch together and apparently that is a sin (because of all the clicks)
oh shit now a jock and a nerd are fighting over Jade and the nerd knows fucking kong fu or something.
umm...now yasmins little brother is hitting on some little girl. i mean LITTLE GIRL, like ten.
now they are shopping for a party and cloe feels bad because he's not rich and can't afford anything.
and now there is a clothing Montague and i think i'm going to kill myself.
and now they aren't going to the party because they need to be in clicks to get in but they refuse to sit in cliques. puh-lease. just sit with eachother when you get there, duh.
Ooooooooooooooo now Yasmin and Dylan are talking and dylan felt her sing thru the speaker. gay. and she can't even sing that well and Dylan speaks way too well for a deaf person.
now Cloe's mom has a fever and is cooking for something and cloe sent her to bed and now the four of them are cooking for her and making crazy shit and here's another Montague and cloe's mom has a lazy eye and now they have to be servers at the party they didn't want to go to.
and now Jade ramade their serving outfits into harajuku-like costumes that aren't even made out of the same fabric.
umm... and now the girl who is throwing the party is singing some song called fabulous and is motioning at her crotch...umm is her twat fabulous? it's actually catchy and i'll probably have it on my ipod later.
oh and Anneliese van der Pol is in this playing a teenager even though she's like 26.
and now yasmin is being forced on the stage to sing even though she's got real bad stage fright. is she going to do it? noooo! she ran off! boo who!
and now the deaf guy is standing up for her. this movie is soo bad. now there's spanish music playing...nope sorry, the girl shut the movie off and did a costume change and now the music is back on.
now Yasmin spilled food on the deaf guy and OMG i think he's going to kiss her...nope tease.
now the girl who is throwing the party fell into her cake and then the pool. oh no.
Ooooo!!!! she called them bratz!!! daaaayum!
back to school: now everyone hates them because they don't sit with clicks anymore.
Oooo now they are a music group called...wait for it...BRATZ!!!!!! ahh! and they're gonna win the talent show...or so they think.
another music Montague.
now that girl who threw the party is threatening yasmin to drop out of the talent show because she has dirt on cloe's mom...dun dun dun!!!
god, cloe kind of looks (and sounds) like she has down syndrome.
now everyone hates yasmin because she dropped out of the show...even the deaf guy.
now yasmin is crying on her big fat spanish mother and they all are talking to cloe's mom who has a lazy eye but apparently knows yasmin better than the other girls do.
now yasmin is going to tell them why she dropped out of the show...
now it's the show. will the BRATZ be there?!?!?!
exorcise? yeah i got enough exorcise. just pushing my luck. <-- joke from the movie.
now another catchy song *taps foot* OMG! BRATZ CAR!!
"the show is over, with a capital over" <-- actual quote from the movie.
oh shit! the BRATZ are huuuuurrr!!!!!
now they're singing "brattitude" *eye roll* which is AWFUL!
WHERE DID THE FUCK DID THE CHOIR COME FROM?!?!?!!?!?!
i guess Yasmin is over her stage fright?
Oh look, they won now Cloe can go to college because apparently she's too poor to afford clothes, but not poor enough for financial aid?
Okay, now it's over. THANK GOD!
go rent it.
this is also one of the most stereotypical movies i'e ever watched:
Cloe: blonde, lives in a nice home, pretty, only catch is she isn't very girly. she's sporty and poor apparently.
Jade: Asian. parents expect things from her. in science club. first day of school she makes fireworks in lab class.
Yasmin: Spanish. walks out of her room to an ENTIRE MEXICAN BAND in her kitchen. has no friends. figures.
Sasha: Black, but instead of not having a father, her parents are split up and hate eachother. she's a cheerleader (i guess because this school doesn't have a step team).
then there is this deaf kid who Yasmin bumps into and i think they are going to get it on later in the movie.
THEN!!!! the girls SPLIT UP and aren't friends anymore because they joined cliques (except Yasmin), and two years go by and everyone looks EXACTLY the same!!!
now i'm up to the part where the black music teacher is trying to make the deaf kid "feel the music" by having him put his hand on the speaker while he scratches the records.
OH!! and this school has a "people who like to dress as dinosaurs" click, and apparently you can bring your dog to school in this movie.
now there's a whole food fight scene because they all spilled spaghetti on each other and teachers are in on it...
now the huge bust of their principal fell and broke, because ya know, all schools have a bust of their principals. I know i did.
now they all have detention and are calling each other names. now sasha is giving sass and apparently cloe aint got no dad.
now yasmin is all "Oooo you shouldn't have said that nigga"
god, now they're all apologizing.
cloe kind of likes lady gaga, fyi.
now they all are planning on taking control of their lives and be themselves and not be in their cliques anymore.
JESUS CHRIST this movie is AWFUL!
okay, now they are all friends again, and Yasmins "Bubbie" is the mother from my big fat greek wedding, and she loves chocolate and gives yasmin shoes for chocolate.
and now there is auditions for the talent show...oh, and did you know that Dylan is totally into Yasmin because he never looks her in the eye, talks to her or remembers her name? um.. maybe because he's too busy reading your lips to look you in the eyes, sounds like a retard when he talks and can't fucking pronounce your name because he's DEAF?!?! did you ever think of that, chica?
um okay, now everyone is staring at them because they're all eating lunch together and apparently that is a sin (because of all the clicks)
oh shit now a jock and a nerd are fighting over Jade and the nerd knows fucking kong fu or something.
umm...now yasmins little brother is hitting on some little girl. i mean LITTLE GIRL, like ten.
now they are shopping for a party and cloe feels bad because he's not rich and can't afford anything.
and now there is a clothing Montague and i think i'm going to kill myself.
and now they aren't going to the party because they need to be in clicks to get in but they refuse to sit in cliques. puh-lease. just sit with eachother when you get there, duh.
Ooooooooooooooo now Yasmin and Dylan are talking and dylan felt her sing thru the speaker. gay. and she can't even sing that well and Dylan speaks way too well for a deaf person.
now Cloe's mom has a fever and is cooking for something and cloe sent her to bed and now the four of them are cooking for her and making crazy shit and here's another Montague and cloe's mom has a lazy eye and now they have to be servers at the party they didn't want to go to.
and now Jade ramade their serving outfits into harajuku-like costumes that aren't even made out of the same fabric.
umm... and now the girl who is throwing the party is singing some song called fabulous and is motioning at her crotch...umm is her twat fabulous? it's actually catchy and i'll probably have it on my ipod later.
oh and Anneliese van der Pol is in this playing a teenager even though she's like 26.
and now yasmin is being forced on the stage to sing even though she's got real bad stage fright. is she going to do it? noooo! she ran off! boo who!
and now the deaf guy is standing up for her. this movie is soo bad. now there's spanish music playing...nope sorry, the girl shut the movie off and did a costume change and now the music is back on.
now Yasmin spilled food on the deaf guy and OMG i think he's going to kiss her...nope tease.
now the girl who is throwing the party fell into her cake and then the pool. oh no.
Ooooo!!!! she called them bratz!!! daaaayum!
back to school: now everyone hates them because they don't sit with clicks anymore.
Oooo now they are a music group called...wait for it...BRATZ!!!!!! ahh! and they're gonna win the talent show...or so they think.
another music Montague.
now that girl who threw the party is threatening yasmin to drop out of the talent show because she has dirt on cloe's mom...dun dun dun!!!
god, cloe kind of looks (and sounds) like she has down syndrome.
now everyone hates yasmin because she dropped out of the show...even the deaf guy.
now yasmin is crying on her big fat spanish mother and they all are talking to cloe's mom who has a lazy eye but apparently knows yasmin better than the other girls do.
now yasmin is going to tell them why she dropped out of the show...
now it's the show. will the BRATZ be there?!?!?!
exorcise? yeah i got enough exorcise. just pushing my luck. <-- joke from the movie.
now another catchy song *taps foot* OMG! BRATZ CAR!!
"the show is over, with a capital over" <-- actual quote from the movie.
oh shit! the BRATZ are huuuuurrr!!!!!
now they're singing "brattitude" *eye roll* which is AWFUL!
WHERE DID THE FUCK DID THE CHOIR COME FROM?!?!?!!?!?!
i guess Yasmin is over her stage fright?
Oh look, they won now Cloe can go to college because apparently she's too poor to afford clothes, but not poor enough for financial aid?
Okay, now it's over. THANK GOD!
go rent it.
Friday, September 11, 2009
dude, your perspective on life sucks.
so...it's 3:15 in the morning and i can not sleep which wouldn't be too bad if i didn't have work in six hours. ugh. i hate when i can't sleep.
I just finished watching the season premier of top model, and i must say that i was very disapinted with their makeovers this cycle. only two people got extensions and none of them had anything that drastic. stoopid. I'm also not so sure about the people on this cycle either. everyone just seems so...bleh. there is this one girl, Nicole though who i seem to like so far, she's really really quiet and quirky but super fierce when her picture is taken. she's also small and has long (now extremely) curly hair and brains which everyone knows is kinda my type *eye roll* i'm not saying she's gorgeous or anything and she is NO Allison Harvard *love* (because my first thought of her way she looks waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too anorexic for my taste, and i think it's effecting her speach) but throughout the episode she kind of grew on me except she should never, ever wear her hair back because her shoulders are too broad for her giraffe neck >_<.
as for the rest of the girls: I can already tell this will be a crazy season.
Ashley: i believe she is a dancer, and she got a long crazy weave.
Bianca: she reminds me of the girl Jai i dated a few months ago, only shorter, skinner, and bald. i can already tell she's going to be one of those girls I love or I hate.
Brittany: tyra gave her this gorgeous dark hair that makes her eyes creepy blue and makes her look like Sara Paxton (who i think is kind of gorgeous, btw)
Courtney: WTF is with the cast? how do you expect to walk the runway with a broken ankle? and i DO NOT like her new, dyke haircut.
Erin: she seems VERY immature (probably because she's 18). I do like her fucking snow white hair and eyebrows.
Jennifer: the token Asian girl who's going to do amazing but not have enough air time.
Kara: ugly. I'm sorry, but her lower part of her face needs to go.
Laura: southern, with a heavily annoying accent and kinda looks like the actress who plays Tara on Buffy.
Lisa: linda looks like Michelle whats her face from the second season of lost. she was only brought back after the CRAZY CRAZY Jesus girl dropped out, only to be eliminated the first episode. color me they had that planned.
LuLu: adorable. fucking adorable, but too bad she's 19, gay, and has her girlfriend's name TATTOOED ACROSS HER CHEST! le sigh.
Nicole: see above.
Rachel: huge fucking anime eyes.
Rae: the mother. i also love her white hair.
Sundai: don't really like her new, shorter do because her old long wavy weave was gorgeous on her. I also only think Tyra put her on here because she had a 'rough life' growing up. whatever.
so yeah, that was my mini top model review. I should REALLY get some sleep now, peace.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Saw you twice at the pop show
I woke up late the next morning. Like really late. I didn’t hear my alarm go off but I did hear the quick *beep beep* of my phone telling me I got a text message. I rolled over. 1 new message: frAAn. I slid my phone open: hey. Sorry. Just got your message, I went to bed super early last night. I sent a quick email to Robert telling him I will be late, closed my phone, and got out of bed. I didn’t even want to know what time it was. My clothes from earlier that morning were all over my floor. I picked up my pants, threw them on, grabbed a shirt from my closet and headed to the bathroom where I brushed my teeth quick, ran my fingers thru my hair, and then was out the door.
“Andrew” said my boss, startling me from the doodle I was doing in my sketchbook by coming around the corner towards my desk “how’s that new character coming along”?
“I have some ideas but I’m not sure about them” I said handing him a stack of potential characters “I can’t seem to grasp it just yet”. After looking at all the pictures he handed me my pages back and said “what about her? Yeah, I like that. I think you got something there”. I looked down to what he was pointing to when I noticed that he was looking at my sketchbook.
“huh? I-” I began but he cut me off by saying “what are you talking about, Meissner? We got our girl right there. I want a final copy as soon as possible please”.
When he left I looked down at what I was drawing. Without even thinking, I drew a small, slender girl with big eyes and a mound of dark hair around her face. Without thinking, I drew Alli as our new character. I worked on redrawing the character to not look so much like her for the next hour or so and was interrupted by a knock at my door.
“come in” I said not looking up from my drawing.
“I figured you’d like some coffee. You seem like a milk and sugar kind of guy” said a cool, flirty voice.
I jumped, it was her. I couldn’t believe she was standing here, in the doorway of my office.
“actually I’m more of a just milk, no sugar kind of guy” I teased.
“oh, more manly than I thought” Alli joked. “whatcha working on there” she said heading towards my deck.
I quickly tried covering up my drawing with a few other ones. “Oh, just some sketches of a new character for my show.
She looked over my shoulder. “she’s cute” she said pointing to one of the earlier sketches of a tall, thin girl with short ginger hair and a nose ring.
“Yeah, she is” I said. “but I’ve seen cuter”
She raised her eyebrow.
I smiled. “what are you doing here”? I asked taking the cup of coffee from her hand “how do you even know where I work”?
“I have connections” she said taking a sip of her drink.
“stalker” I laughed.
“so…do you get a lunch break or something” asked Alli.
“Yeah, I do actually” I noted.
“yeah? Well when”? she asked
“um…about now” I grinned.
I stoop up, grabbed my jacket and headed towards Alli.
“have anywhere in mind” I asked holding the door open for her.
“yeah I do actually” she said walking out of the door and giving me an extremely flirtatious eye. “Ever hear of a little place called Starbucks”
“you know what, I think I might have been there once or twice” I joked.
We walked downtown a few blocks and chatted about nothing. We sipped our coffee and occasionally brushed our hands up against each others. It was really nice out. I don’t know why I grabbed my jacket, I didn’t need it. I looked at Alli who was wearing a pencil skirt and a simple silk blouse, her shoes were the only thing flashy on her, bright red high heels. Her hair was pulled back today in a simple pony tail, but pieces were falling out all around her and framing her face. There was something about the contrast between the dark, ink like hair and her pale eyes that made my knees weak.
“what” she asked catching me looking at her.
“Nothing” I said and put on a goofy grin. “you look good”
“thanks. Not looking bad yourself” she teased. I was surprised to hear that since I was wearing the same pants I wore last night and a plain, button down flannel shirt.
We ended up stopping at a near bye café where we both ordered a salad. We found a table in the upstairs seating and chatted about absolutely nothing for the next hour.
Back at work, I found it a lot easier to draw my character. Everything seemed a lot better. I also wasn’t so tired or hung overish, just really smiley. Alli and I made plans to see each other later that night, I couldn’t wait for it to be 5:00. There would be no overtime tonight, tonight I was getting out when I was scheduled.
As soon as the clock turned 5 I rushed out of my office. Once home I picked out an outfit of a short sleeve purple, grey and green plaid button down, and dark washed jeans. I jumped in the shower and threw on my outfit along with a pair of grey pointed toe shoes and a few sprays of cologne. I dried my hair and styled it. I usually always was presentable, but tonight I was extra presentable.
I grabbed a cab and took it to the address Alli gave me earlier that afternoon. It wasn’t that far from the bar we went to the previous night, just a few blocks. I paid the cab driver and went into the building. Allis apartment building was rather nice. I took the stairs up to the fifth floor, room 43B. I knocked on the door. I heard movement from the other side, a crash, and a cat meow.
“Andrew” said my boss, startling me from the doodle I was doing in my sketchbook by coming around the corner towards my desk “how’s that new character coming along”?
“I have some ideas but I’m not sure about them” I said handing him a stack of potential characters “I can’t seem to grasp it just yet”. After looking at all the pictures he handed me my pages back and said “what about her? Yeah, I like that. I think you got something there”. I looked down to what he was pointing to when I noticed that he was looking at my sketchbook.
“huh? I-” I began but he cut me off by saying “what are you talking about, Meissner? We got our girl right there. I want a final copy as soon as possible please”.
When he left I looked down at what I was drawing. Without even thinking, I drew a small, slender girl with big eyes and a mound of dark hair around her face. Without thinking, I drew Alli as our new character. I worked on redrawing the character to not look so much like her for the next hour or so and was interrupted by a knock at my door.
“come in” I said not looking up from my drawing.
“I figured you’d like some coffee. You seem like a milk and sugar kind of guy” said a cool, flirty voice.
I jumped, it was her. I couldn’t believe she was standing here, in the doorway of my office.
“actually I’m more of a just milk, no sugar kind of guy” I teased.
“oh, more manly than I thought” Alli joked. “whatcha working on there” she said heading towards my deck.
I quickly tried covering up my drawing with a few other ones. “Oh, just some sketches of a new character for my show.
She looked over my shoulder. “she’s cute” she said pointing to one of the earlier sketches of a tall, thin girl with short ginger hair and a nose ring.
“Yeah, she is” I said. “but I’ve seen cuter”
She raised her eyebrow.
I smiled. “what are you doing here”? I asked taking the cup of coffee from her hand “how do you even know where I work”?
“I have connections” she said taking a sip of her drink.
“stalker” I laughed.
“so…do you get a lunch break or something” asked Alli.
“Yeah, I do actually” I noted.
“yeah? Well when”? she asked
“um…about now” I grinned.
I stoop up, grabbed my jacket and headed towards Alli.
“have anywhere in mind” I asked holding the door open for her.
“yeah I do actually” she said walking out of the door and giving me an extremely flirtatious eye. “Ever hear of a little place called Starbucks”
“you know what, I think I might have been there once or twice” I joked.
We walked downtown a few blocks and chatted about nothing. We sipped our coffee and occasionally brushed our hands up against each others. It was really nice out. I don’t know why I grabbed my jacket, I didn’t need it. I looked at Alli who was wearing a pencil skirt and a simple silk blouse, her shoes were the only thing flashy on her, bright red high heels. Her hair was pulled back today in a simple pony tail, but pieces were falling out all around her and framing her face. There was something about the contrast between the dark, ink like hair and her pale eyes that made my knees weak.
“what” she asked catching me looking at her.
“Nothing” I said and put on a goofy grin. “you look good”
“thanks. Not looking bad yourself” she teased. I was surprised to hear that since I was wearing the same pants I wore last night and a plain, button down flannel shirt.
We ended up stopping at a near bye café where we both ordered a salad. We found a table in the upstairs seating and chatted about absolutely nothing for the next hour.
Back at work, I found it a lot easier to draw my character. Everything seemed a lot better. I also wasn’t so tired or hung overish, just really smiley. Alli and I made plans to see each other later that night, I couldn’t wait for it to be 5:00. There would be no overtime tonight, tonight I was getting out when I was scheduled.
As soon as the clock turned 5 I rushed out of my office. Once home I picked out an outfit of a short sleeve purple, grey and green plaid button down, and dark washed jeans. I jumped in the shower and threw on my outfit along with a pair of grey pointed toe shoes and a few sprays of cologne. I dried my hair and styled it. I usually always was presentable, but tonight I was extra presentable.
I grabbed a cab and took it to the address Alli gave me earlier that afternoon. It wasn’t that far from the bar we went to the previous night, just a few blocks. I paid the cab driver and went into the building. Allis apartment building was rather nice. I took the stairs up to the fifth floor, room 43B. I knocked on the door. I heard movement from the other side, a crash, and a cat meow.
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