New Slang.

British people are weird. But in a good way. The British amuse me; they have this witty sense of humor that gets me every time. Last night I watched
December Boys, Daniel Radcliffe’s new movie. It was pretty good. It was about these four orphan boys who were born in December…blah blah blah. The orphanage they live in decide that they were to take these boys on holiday because someone wants to adopt one of them. This would be a good plot if all the boys were the same age, right? Well, the British, as cool as they are decide to cast Daniel Radcliffe as one of the boys. Why is this bad you might ask…I’ll tell you. It’s bad because he is a seventeen year old hanging around three ten year olds… throughout the whole movie you see Dan playing games, and running around with the other three. They even gave each other nicknames, kind of like the Marauders from Harry Potter did. Dan’s character, “Maps”, has this love interest, Lucy who sleeps with him then leaves him…he was real heartbroken and shit. Anyway, it’s so funny to watch him running around/exploring with these other boys. There is one scene where the four of them go swimming…the beginning of the scene scans over the boy’s legs in their swim trunks. Tell me is this isn’t hysterical? You see three sets of small, pale legs and then one set of these big, hairy ones…I almost peed myself. A scene later the four of them are running on a mountain and you can pick out which one doesn’t belong; the one that has a happy trail. It was really hard to take this movie seriously with him in it. I love him, and love the Harry Potter films but please, stick to that.

Today I was scheduled to have off. Did I? Nope. Dawn called in sick last night so I said I would cover her 10-2 shift. Thank God it was only four hours, and not an eight hour shift. Regardless I need the money, this makes me working six days in a row with no day for just me. The highlight of my shift came around noonish. The phone rang and I answered it:

“Thank you for calling KB toys, come join us for out sale, how may I help you”?
“ Yes, I am *insert name here* from Home Office, who is on tonight“?
“…our manager, Karen…”
“No, I mean right now”
“oh, it’s me and our manager Linda”
“Wonda”?
“No, Linda”
“can you put her on please”?

I hand the phone to Linda…

“KB toys…I’m Linda…I’m 52...this is my ninth year…what?…what test?….I don’t think so…what isn’t supposed to taste Lemony?…No, I don’t think so”

She hangs up the phone.
I look at her.

“What isn’t supposed to taste lemony”?
“this guy, he wanted to know if our saliva had a lemony taste…”
“what”?
“yeah, he wanted me to stick my finger in your mouth and taste your saliva”

I almost lost it. I couldn’t stop laughing. Apparently he got other stores too…we called Doreen, our DSM.I imminently had to tell Brittany who thought it was very strange and said “shut the fuck up. That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard” then I called Fran who thought it was funny, which it was; my panties were damp from it so I don’t blame them for laughing.

A few hours after, once I let the call settle, I complained to Linda that I had nothing to do today because Brittany was still sick. Right after this Brittany texts me and asks if I want to borrow one of the puppies tonight. I called my mom, who agreed, and text Brittany back… I now had something to do today: play with the puppy =)

I’ve been trying to convince my family to let us take a puppy since they were born but unfortunately my family’s been saying no…then I got my mom convinced, then my brothers so all who was left was my dear old dad. He doesn’t really have a say because if my mom wants something, she usually gets it…like me. We’re spoiled. So Brittany comes to KB at 2 with baby George in her arms. He got really big since last time I saw him, but flicking ADORABLE! We went back to my house and chilled and played with the puppy and I made grilled cheese sandwiches with bacon, and a Shirley temple. Shortly after, my mom and brothers came home and fell in love with the poodle. He slept mostly, which was so fucking cute, then he got hyper around 7ish when he played with a sock and a cat ball and started to rag doll it. So I convinced 99% of my family to want the dog. Like I said, if I want something, I’ll get it. Iihght, I’m going to go watch some Sabrina the teenage witch then go to bed. Peace.