Reach out.

Oh my god. So I was reading old posts (like reeeaaalll old posts) on here, and I have come to the conclusion that I am fucking hysterical. All my sassy comebacks and quick wit really had me going. What happened? When I reread my blogs from the past few months I don’t find myself wetting myself as much. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m still side splitting funny, but I don’t see that jazz, that umph, that rah rah rah, that booga booga (what’s booga booga? I don’t know but when I say it you’re going to fucking do it)…what’s that from? Huh? Huh? Suck it.

I love H&M. I absolutely love working there. I think I might love it even more than KB. There is always something to do, and the people are awesome, we play really good music, and the people are just fun. Today was my second day on register. My first day I think I fucked up fo real real, but today was nothing but smooth sailing. I was basically on register all night when I was only scheduled on for two hours. It was tres tres fun though. I was all “I can take the following guest over here *raises hand*” their register is a little different from Kbs, but it’s actually really east to use. I thought that since it is a much nicer store than KB was the registers would be all cool and touch screen and shit like that, but nope. They regular registers.

Do you see what I mean? this isn’t very funny, huh? Sigh. One day I will regain my funny. Once, about two years ago I lost my funny and it didn’t come back for a while. When it did Fran knighted me King Funny again. It was one of my proudest moments and now it’s slipping away. Fuck my life.

Tomorrow (well tonight) I’m going out dancing *shakes hips* with people from work. I can’t wait. I asked Nicole today if she was going and she was all “duh. I love dancing” and then I was all “this better not be a trick. Like a ‘let’s prank the new kid’ and leave me there alone because I will just stay there and dance by myself” and then we laughed and rang up customers.

Another thing I love about my job (besides the pay) is not wearing a uniform. I love waking up in the morning (or late afternoon) and picking out what I’m going to wear. The only thing is that I have never been more self conscious in my life than I am at work. Every guy is thin there, and I mean thin, and almost every girl is thin and I want to be like that. I’ve been changing my eating habits to lose weight while I work there. On days where I work long shits I only eat once a day, or once a day with a snack or something when I get home. Today I was running off of: an iced coffee, an energy drink, two salads, and four hours of sleep. Why so little sleep you may ask…well, I was up til about five yesterday morning playing online scrabble. I know. I was so hyper at work today though. I was singing and dancing to every song, and I was a beast on register and I was so cheerful (until break were I sat down and wanted to sleep) but I got a second wind later in the night and now it’s 2:37 in the morning and I need to be at work in 5 hours. I know. I know. Looks like I’m going to be running off another few hours of sleep and major coffee and energy drinks. And tomorrow I’m going to be shaking my blubber all over the club (because obviously I want to go into a coma when I get home).

Oh! I remembered something: I wrote a blog almost two years ago about how my car is like me, and how fran’s car is like her, and whatnot. I wasn’t super close with Jen then, and I wasn’t in her car enough but now that we’re basically attached at the hip (ya know, those days when we’re not working or she’s not with Jon…so like once a week) I can finally honestly say that Jen is like her car. Let me explain:

Jen is super crazy smart and awesome and blonde (in a good way), and her car is super crazy awesome and blonde (seriously. That’s the color). It’s an older model, but still cute (and I don’t mean you’re old jen…even though you are 22 *wink*), and by looking at it you kind of think it’s an average, simple car, but open the door and it’s crazy. Open the trunk and you can find Narnia. This is basically how Jen is: you look at her and you think a pretty girl. She probably works and goes to school or something like that, and her life is probably simple (I’m not sure what that means actually), but wait…open her mind (trunk) and holy shit there is stuff piled on top of each other. You can find laundry detergent, papers, books, cans of string beans, more books, different dimensions, black holes, etc. Jens mind is constantly going and it is always idea after idea after novel after idea.

There ya go, Jen. I analyzed you and your car now I’m going to try to get at least three hours of sleep. Peace out.