Thursday, August 23, 2012

inside you're just a little baby.

There is something going on in my apartment building. It all started when I was got out of bed to kick the cat (and myself) out of the bedroom because Le Boo was sleeping (that's french for the boo, by the way) and i heard muttering coming from outside, so I peeked out the window and saw the super and one of his kids standing outside talking to some woman pulling a wooden crate on a dolly. they were talking about something animatedly but i was like 'whatever" and proceeded to gather my laptop, my sketch book and my markers and went into the living room to watch some lesbian paraplegic midget porn, when I heard some crazy scraping noise coming from the hall way. I went to the door (after putting pants on)and looked out my little peek hole but I couldn't see anything!!! sooo...I opened the door super slowly and quietly and noticed that the noise in question was coming from the first floor, and since I live in a building with a somewhat spiral-like staircase I peeked down and saw the super sweeping the staircase violently, like it was covered in something and he was angrily trying to get rid of it. Obviously my first thought was that this woman with the crate and he were partners in murderous crime and they just killed the guy and one of his lady friends that live under me and is hiding their decaying bodies in the crate and is burying them under the staircase and the super is sweeping away any left over saw dust or bone marrow that they might have left from putting back the stairs together.


song title: I am not a robot by Marina and the Diamonds

Saturday, July 14, 2012

She's a crazy bitch, and that's why I love her.

Dearest Facebook friends,

I don't understand why some people feel the need to flood my news feed with depressing shit. First of all, if you're life is really as miserable as you say it is, go out and change it. A little secret, nobody is deliberately sitting at home coming up with ways to make your day(s# suck. If you are truly that depressed get up, go out and do something that makes you happy. Nobody is going to get better by just sitting around sulking.

It really pisses me off coming on here and reading all this shit. I am, for the most part, a cheerful person and I don't need your shit bringing me down. Isn't the whole point of social media to keep in contact with people long distances away? I doubt your friend who moved to Hawaii, or London, or wherever wants to hear about how shitty you're feeling.

With that said, if you do put your shit on here and someone asks "awww, what's wrong #insert name here) do you need to talk about it"? and you respond with "it's not something I want everyone to know" or "message me or text me" then DON'T POST ON HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!! Jesus Christ!!

Also, why I am ranting, I don't want to see 100 pictures of your face at the same angle every single day! Seriously? did you change so much in 3 hours that you need to post another picture of you making a duck face? Don't get me wrong, I love taking pictures of myself...all the time, but I don't need everyone on my friends list to see basically the same picture all the time. Change it up, or even better, don't take pictures of your ugly face hahaha!



title song: Crazy bitch- Rye Rye

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Bubblegum Bitch.

Lawdy, Lawdy, Ladwy!!! I can not believe it has been 8 months since I've last posted. I could have had a fucking mistake baby in that time period and be writting about that, but you all can sigh with relief because I am not here to tell you that I, nor Deirdre has popped out the spawn of satin and his sex slave. I seriously can not believe how long it has been since I've posted on here. honestly, I think I kind of forgot about this blog because Instagram and Facebook and Tumblr have obsorbed all my free time thanks to their convienent applications on my phone. Maybe if Blogger got a fucking app I would post more? eh? do they have one? I don't know. if they don't they should so you all can get into my completely morbid, sexual, fucked up mind all the time *grin* I am actually kind of cold for once since the begining of the summer. And yes, it is because of my air conditioner, but let me tell you this, ass hole (before you make some remark about that's why)...my air conditioner had been complete shit since I bought it at the oh-so-reliable Walmart *tips cowboy hat and take my hand out of my cousins pants*. I was so excited to get a new AC for our apartment and at such a good deal too, $135!!! I was like "Shit yeah" and bought it and had my friend, Christina drive me back to Brooklyn and help me install it only to find out that it is waaaaaaaaay too small for our apartment! It didn't go down past 80 degrees for the past week. It is now 75 in my apartment and I am kind of chilly...but I am not about to get all excited because my AC is working better now, it is only 75 in here because it's about 78 outide of the aparment #facepalm. Just incase you all forgot what I look like since I last posted somethings, here's a current picture of this beautiful face: Currently listening to: Marina and the Diamonds- Sex Yeah.