Saturday, January 26, 2008

Saddle Up

Do you want to know what really creeps me the fuck out? Security guards. They are sooooo fucking creepy. For anyone who doesn’t know the security guards in Gateway plaza, lucky you; they are the creepiest things ever. One time a black one pulled up to Fran, Karen, Dave and I and asked for a pen and a cigarette, and one time Karen swears she and Dave saw the security guard being pleasured by some woman in the car…yeah, we got some real good protection up in herre girl.

Tonight, after work Brittany and I went to Outback (good day mate). We had a well earned Alice spring chicken and blooming onion…She has to sit through hours of bullshit for her new job at Payless, and I had to work tonight. Anyway, we go to Outback and eat some yum yums. We were finished by eleven something so we decided to go to the movies. We saw ‘Mad money’. It was pretty good, I guess. There was an annoying man sitting a few seats down from us who would laugh at the most retarded things, and there was a couple in front of us who were giggling and being gay (hey! It’s cute when Brittany and I do it!) Speaking of Brittany and I doing stuff…nah! I shouldn’t say…

So we leave the movie. OH!!! I have to tell you this story:

Last night my brother had a hockey game, so Britt and I stayed here and watched Hairspray and stuff…we then went to Walgreen’s for something and by the time I got back to my house my family was home so Britt and I sat in my car and ‘talked’…

I walk into my house and there is my entire family sitting on the couch staring at me. I give them a fake smile and say Hi. Zack then goes
“Bout time. What took you so long in the car?”
My face must have been whiter than an albino’s ass after getting an ass bleaching. My dad told him we were ‘talking’ and I gave him a dirty look…WTF? Were they watching us? Creeeeeeeepy…

So anyway, today I’m at AC Moore and I get a phone call from Brittany. I knew there had to be something up because so never calls me (we’re more of a text messaging couple). I pick up and I hear “This is very important” the genius somehow left her wallet (strike one) in my car and she needed her license for her interview with the Russian from Payless. So I race home to check my car, which there in my front seat was a little pink wallet owned my Brittany Lynne Palma. I giggled because sometimes her forgetfulness can be cute. I called her to tell her the good news and my mom was like “Well maybe while you two were making out it fell out of her pocket”…again, where they watching us because I really hope they weren’t.

Next on the genius couple’s list of the most smartest (yeah, I went there) things that can go wrong (oh btw, I did something REAL stupid. Again, but you can’t know what that was *giggle*)…

So anyway, after outback we went to the movies. Brittany made me let her pay for the movies because I paid for dinner *blank face/smile* I should have paid; we’re walking to the ticket ripper person when Britt asks me if I have my ticket. I look down at my hand which is empty and tell her no. somehow, she misplaced my ticket and receipt (strike two) so we had to go to the manager and she luckily believed us and reprinted a receipt so we were able to see the movie. After the movie we went back to her car to leave and it was hella freezing out so she started her car and decided to sit on my lap so she would stay warm, but she accidentally hit the hazard button and it got stuck (strike three)…sooo she lost her wallet, lost the receipt, and broke her car…that’s my girl. Oh and then, her blinkers stopped working on our way back to the KB parking lot where my car was all alone, cold and unprotected. Which brings us back to the point of this blog.

Security guards are fucking creepy. Brittany turns into the parking lot and there is the fucking security guard. We drive past him and he follows us. This isn’t the first time he’s done this; every time Brittany and I are in that parking lot there is the creep watching us… I think this might be the first time he’s seen the car with the windows defogged though, so he might have thought it was a different car…anyway, she parks next to my car and I get out and start it. Where is the guard? Across from us in the other parking lot, watching. I get back in her car and he pulls away. Not away away, but he goes around the parking lot and pulls behind us. FUCKING BEHIND US! Holy shit, he is soooo creepy. What the fuck does he think we’re going to do? Rob a store? (Although Mad Money did make me want to rob a bank)… Britt and I said our goodbyes and I went back into my car…I bet the security guard left after we left.

Any who, I’m sleepy and have work in like six hours so I should get some sleep. Night.

Friday, January 18, 2008

The crown’s in the vault.

Those poor runner ups
Might still hold some grudges.

I’m out of breath, why? I don’t know why…well, I do, but no one wants to hear about it. I just got home. It’s 3:27 in the morning. Today was awesome. Brittany and I went to the city to see Hairspray. It was my Christmas present from her. Hands down, best Christmas present I’ve ever gotten…as of right now ;).

I woke up around 11:30ish, by my mom to take in the bags from the car. I then showered and waited for Britt to come over. We left at 2:40 for the 3:11 train, but we missed it because 1) I had to do my hair. 2) We couldn’t find a parking spot. Finally after like 10 minutes, Brittany spotted a spot…I guess she’s good for something. =)

I’m going to make most of the description brief because I don’t feel like talking about it. Muahaha. Anyway, we got lunch at Ronkonkoma; I had a chicken parmesan hero and she an eggplant one. It was super yummy for train station food but, ya know. Yeah, basically. (I can’t do accents very well).

When we got to penn, I knew exactly where to. I was really proud of myself actually. I’m getting pretty good at telling my way around the city. Brittany and I then looked in H&M, had a mini fight and I got some star bucks. Then it was time for the show!! Wooah!

Let me tell you, I’ve never seen so many Asians in a room at once before. Not even at an Asian restaurant. There was a whole row of them. A whole row! I was like ‘woooah’. tehe.

The show was fucking awesome. (I'll write another blog with a review later) I must have pissed myself at least seven times. Unfortunately, I didn’t take any pictures. At all.

After the show we got some Chinese food. We basically couldn’t get enough of the tourists, so we followed them to their native food supply home…what? It was pretty good stuff I must say. OH! It was a buffet, I must add. The bill was $25.80, so I gave the girl $26, thinking she’ll give me the 20 cents back. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to leave a tip because you know, It was a buffet and all. The girl counts the money and writes “1% tip” on a napkin. I was taken aback. I was all like “what the fuck”? 1% tip, how cheap do you think I am bitch? Asian bitch. Neither Brittany nor I had other cash on us, but we did have two coin dollars, so we threw them on the bill before leaving. We’re good people.

We got back to penn at like 11: 12 or something. We both had to pee, so we ended up missing the 11:16 train, so we had to wait for the 12:14 one. We got some ice cream and watched all the crazy people. At 12:10 we found out that out train was on track 21. Luckily we were in front of the entrance for tracks 20 and 21.

We boarded the train and sat in one of those seats that fit five people and with our luck some man has to sit there with us. Next to us were a group of four teenagers who just saw a Chris Brown and Bow Wow concert at M.S.G. the one girl made me sad. Why? I’ll tell you. There were three girls, lets call them Girl A, Girl B, and Girl C. there was also one boy. We’ll call him Ted. Ted took off his jacket and put it above the seat. He was sitting across from Girl A and next to Girl C. Girl A was sitting next to Girl B. Girl A was “cold” and wanted to wear Ted’s jacket. She obviously liked him, but Ted told her no. He was getting annoyed with the other girls and pretended to threaten them by telling them he’ll sit in a different seat. Oh, Brittany was kind of sleeping on me so that’s why I was watching and observing this group of kids. Anyway, Girl A was kind of mad but whatever. Ted and her switched places at one point leaving Girl A sitting next to Girl C now, and Ted sitting next to Girl B. After a while they all got tired and were starting to fall asleep when a bunch of people got off and there were free seats. Girl A announced that there were free seats, but when no one moved she decided to move. So she got up and went to the seat that was behind her. Girl C suggested that Girl B sat next to Ted so she can lay down, but Girl A told her there was another empty seat. Girl C jumped up and took the free ass cushion, leaving Girl B and Ted alone together. Girl B crawled to the empty seat across from Ted. Immediately after Girl B’s head hit the seat Ted jumped up, grabbed his jacket and threw it over her and tucked her in. Girl A saw this and her face went blank. She looked like she was going to cry. I felt so bad for her. What’s even worse is Girl A was sitting diagonal from me and I felt bad that Brittany and I were cuddling, I really felt bad for her. For the rest of the train ride home she looked depressed. Even when she took a piece of Big Red out of her bag she bit it with a super sad face.

On a lighter note, Brittany and I got home safely, we didn’t get lost once *knock on wood*. Unfortunately it was freezing because it rained the whole day, but overall this was one of the best days I’ve had… props to Brittany and the cast of Hairspray =)…

Night. I’m going to bed.

They padded their cups,
But I screwed the judges

(Ps: I'm copying Fran and putting lyrics in my blogs...sometimes.)

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

I've seen (chocolate) Jesus.

Yay! my first blog in 2008. I could write about my christmas or my new year, but I don't feel like it.

Today I had an epiphany. I was in the Massapequa mall and like every other KB employee I wanted to visit their KB to check out the competition. There I was walking into the store, checking out the normal clutter ness of my second home when I saw it. Behind the counter, in a navy blue polo and tan pants was a real live black man. I was so taken aback. I knew there were black KB employees, the poster in the backroom had a black man on it, but I’ve never really saw one in real life (other than the ones in Bay Shore, but that’s all you find there so it wasn’t a big deal). I needed to tell someone my newly found joyness. I needed to scream on the top of my lungs “I saw the black man” then run around the store and giggle. I immediately Text Brittany and Fran. Brittany unfortunately was at school but Fran got back to me. She made fun of me but I knew deep down she was jealous…like reaaaaal jealous.

My mom and I passed the food court and I screeched like a little girl. There it was, the all holy TCBY. I haven’t had TCBY in years. FO serious son. I ran up the counter and twirled my pigtails as I waited for the woman to take my order.
“I’ll have a waffle cone with White Chocolate Mousse and rainbow sprinkles please” I said.

I was literary almost shitting myself I was so excited for the delicious white cream in my mouth (that’s what she said) but unfortunately, TCBY’S soft serve wasn’t ready at 10:36 in the morning…so I had to wait 15 minutes for the machine to prep for the creamy goodness. So my mom and I went to Wal-Mart which was located across the hall from TCBY. How convent right?

There I had another leap of excitement, but not so ‘shit-my-pants” excitement. I walked in, and there, right in front of my own eyes was a midget employee. How fucking rad huh? A real live black person working in KB, a real live Midget working in Wal-Mart. Life couldn’t get any better could it? You’re wrong. The TCBY made it even better. I licked that thing like there was no tomorrow. I savored every sprinkle and sucked all the color out of them until the ice cream was dripping down my hand like sweat dripped off a fat man on a hot summer day and his dollar blew away so he has to chaise it so he has enough money to get ice cream from the ice cream man because he’s fat and likes ice cream. It was that good.

Mmmm…I must go now; I need to save Fran from loneliness. What a ho.