Monday, November 28, 2011

I want you to be my sex slave...

guuurrrrlll it's been sooo long since I've updated this. I know how long all you loyal (imaginary) readers out there have been patiently waiting for my arrival. well, bitches, I'm baaaaaccckkk and on a brand fucking new laptop! wha wha!! I totally went out on negro Friday and bought a new laptop at walmart for $400! The boo and I are sharing it because both of our old ones are no way, Jose! I'm super, SUPER excited for Christmas!! It's so close you can almost taste it (like your taint) and Deirdre and I put up our Christmas tree the other night. It's a combination of both of our trees so it's a little cray cray, but it's cute! I started shopping the other day and i must say that I have purchased a fuck load of stuff fo' super cheap! I have to give myself a pat on the back! What else have I been up to, eh? Just a whole lot of nothing. And by "nothing" I mean WORKING and moving out of my casa. Werd. Deirdre and I are staying with her parents for a little until my house goes into closing and we can have enough doolalas to move into our place in Brooklyn. I'm really really thankful that they are letting us stay here (with our pet mammath, Hermione). I would totally be sleeping on the corner of 42nd and 5th right now (again) if they didn't (only this time I would be homeless and not roofied after a bad night of being a lady of the night) Soo...I bought Rhianna's new album "Talk that talk" and I really like it! it's a million times better than "Loud" which was a bunch of bullshit. Loud my asshole. I've taken shits more exciting than that album. T^3 is really upbeat and sexy. My favorite, by far, is "birthday cake" but I'm fucking pissed that it isn't a full song! Obviously Rhianna lost some marbles up there when Chris Brown bashed her face in and she had a moment of retardation and decided to make her BEST SONG on the album an interlude. Girl needs to check herself. In other news I really really need to take a shower because I'm pretty sure that after wearing a cashmere sweater all day and working in a 80 degree store I smell like a homeless person (and it doesn't help that I didn't do anything to my hair today so I'm rocking a fro today too). I look like a homeless, Hipster Jew and I'm none of them. Iight, inter web (that's what Deirdre calls it. inter web) I'm going to jerk it in the shower and cry after. peace. ...set my whole body on fire.

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