Tuesday, January 8, 2008

I've seen (chocolate) Jesus.

Yay! my first blog in 2008. I could write about my christmas or my new year, but I don't feel like it.

Today I had an epiphany. I was in the Massapequa mall and like every other KB employee I wanted to visit their KB to check out the competition. There I was walking into the store, checking out the normal clutter ness of my second home when I saw it. Behind the counter, in a navy blue polo and tan pants was a real live black man. I was so taken aback. I knew there were black KB employees, the poster in the backroom had a black man on it, but I’ve never really saw one in real life (other than the ones in Bay Shore, but that’s all you find there so it wasn’t a big deal). I needed to tell someone my newly found joyness. I needed to scream on the top of my lungs “I saw the black man” then run around the store and giggle. I immediately Text Brittany and Fran. Brittany unfortunately was at school but Fran got back to me. She made fun of me but I knew deep down she was jealous…like reaaaaal jealous.

My mom and I passed the food court and I screeched like a little girl. There it was, the all holy TCBY. I haven’t had TCBY in years. FO serious son. I ran up the counter and twirled my pigtails as I waited for the woman to take my order.
“I’ll have a waffle cone with White Chocolate Mousse and rainbow sprinkles please” I said.

I was literary almost shitting myself I was so excited for the delicious white cream in my mouth (that’s what she said) but unfortunately, TCBY’S soft serve wasn’t ready at 10:36 in the morning…so I had to wait 15 minutes for the machine to prep for the creamy goodness. So my mom and I went to Wal-Mart which was located across the hall from TCBY. How convent right?

There I had another leap of excitement, but not so ‘shit-my-pants” excitement. I walked in, and there, right in front of my own eyes was a midget employee. How fucking rad huh? A real live black person working in KB, a real live Midget working in Wal-Mart. Life couldn’t get any better could it? You’re wrong. The TCBY made it even better. I licked that thing like there was no tomorrow. I savored every sprinkle and sucked all the color out of them until the ice cream was dripping down my hand like sweat dripped off a fat man on a hot summer day and his dollar blew away so he has to chaise it so he has enough money to get ice cream from the ice cream man because he’s fat and likes ice cream. It was that good.

Mmmm…I must go now; I need to save Fran from loneliness. What a ho.

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