Thursday, March 26, 2009

The Real Housewives of Medford, NY.

Ugh. I am turning into my mother.

For those of you who don’t know, my parents went to Florida to look at houses and shit because my dad retires in a year and they (my dad) wants to move down to Florida. Anyway, so I’m playing mom for the week.

Sunday night I didn’t fall asleep until 2:30 in the morning, and woke up at 5:30 Monday morning so I could drive my parents to the airport. By the time I got home it was 6:30ish so there was no point going back to bed since Zack had to get up at 7. So I fiddled around for a while and woke Zack up around 7:15ish. I made him an egg sandwich and it was super yummy because I made one for me too.

Dylan and Brandon wake up at 8, so I woke them up at 8:15. They got pancakes for breakfast. This was the first time I made anyone breakfast in a long time and I realized how much I miss it. Ugh!

I made them their lunch and sent them away leaving me to have the house to myself for six hours. I swear to god I was going to get dunkin’ donuts coffee and I had an urge to go to the mall before they opened. And then all I wanted to do was go to bed actualy, but I was so tired that I was overtired and hyper so I made a new play list and went on the treadmill.

After working out I took a shower. It was now around 10 so I went into the living room to “watch tv” which is me for pass the fuck out.

Could I? of course not. Not because I wasn’t tired, oh no. because I was deathly afraid I would fall asleep and then sleep so long or so deep that I would miss the kids coming home and they would be stuck outside (ya know, because they can’t knock on the door or anything), or one of them would die at school and I would sleep through the call. Sigh.

When I did start to doze off the phone rings. Not just once, but EVERY FUCKING TIME my eyes closed. Fo real. First it was my nanny calling to see if I was okay, then someone else called. Then my mom called my cell phone. Then poppy called RIGHT AFTER my mom to make sure that I was okay because I guess when nanny called it wasn’t good enough. I’m almost 20 but ya know, I can’t take care of myself or anything. Sigh.

By the time everyone was done calling Zack was home. Great. So he gets home and whatever. So I had to stay awake. The other kids come home at 3:45. When they got home they did their homework, and I was all “what do you guys want for dinner” “how was school” blah blah blah.
I totally forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer so I couldn’t make chicken cutlets like I wanted to because it would take waaay too long for that shit to defrost. So instead I put the chicken in the sink to defrost and made a soy sauce stir fry thingy instead and it was really good.
After dinner I cleaned up (because god forbid anyone cleans up after themselves). Being a mom, I wanted to make a dessert so I made a chocolate chip cookie cake. So good! SO GOOD!

The rest of the night was me running around the house and cleaning up after them OH MY FUCKING GOD. Both Fran and Jen text me with “how is motherhood”? sigh. I am definitely my mother. I am noticing things that I haven’t before, like the dirt on the floor that the kids track in, when the dogs eat something, the backdrop of the stove being dirty. Holy shit. It’s like I was injected with the mom gene. I’m finding myself annoying.

I fell asleep on the couch at 10:20 last night, watching Scooby-doo. That’s how tired I was. Luckily everyone else fell asleep too so I was able to get to bed, but of course I got a second wind of energy and didn’t actually fall asleep until 2 only for me to get up again at 7 this morning.
And it is fucking sad that when I woke up the first thing that I thought of wasn’t “where is the snooze button”? like I usually do, but “Fuck, I left the chicken out” and “what am I making for dinner tonight”? Oh my God.

So I got out of bed and woke Zack up, who had a “headache” and wanted to stay home. Fuck that shit. I was his age once. Headache=I’m tired.

I was not making them a gourmet breakfast this morning so they got cereal. Psssht, I aint that much of a mother yet.

While they were eating do you know what I did? I fucking swept the kitchen because it was pissing me off. All I can say is holy shit.

And. AND! I’m fucking listening to Dora on tv, and the kids left for school twenty minutes ago.

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