Saturday, January 31, 2009

Hers is a Tonic, mine is a Gin.

Okay, so I was looking through my “possible matches” on Cupid, when I realized that there are some really skanky girls on this site. Seriously, do you think that all men want a slut? Well, I don’t. there are way too many girls on this site that are showing off their tits or ass on their display picture; and you know what? You’re only showing them off because you don’t think you’re attractive enough, or you’re self conscious, and have low self esteem so you think that you’ll catch a guy by putting out. The thing that sucks is these girls are probably really nice, and they are probably the ones who get hurt the most, because men are skum bags and will say anything to get laid. Anyway, if you aren’t a ho, or desperate, here’s something *I* am looking for in a girl:

I’m pretty shallow, sooo…you must be pretty. Not slutty pretty, but cute pretty. I find that being cute is prettier than being hot. I hardly call someone hot, so if I do, be honored -_^.
You like cats more than dogs
You’ll sing with me in the car (even though I am a horrible singer). If you’re a bad singer, way to go: two bads make a good =)
You don’t mind I like chick flicks and wont make fun of me for it (that jokingly way is okay)
You don’t mind that I will cook for you
You have glasses =) =)
You aren’t too tall, I aint want no Amazon woman.
You like star bucks as much as I do
You’re always up for an adventure (because I can’t sit still, but I’m lazy)
You like lingerie (heeeeeey)
If you can draw, that’s a plus, if not I’ll teach you.
You’ll laugh at religion avec moi.
You’ll record stupid videos with me.
We’ll go to blockbuster, rent the most retarded movie there, and tear it apart =)
You’ll steal my clothes and refuse to give them back, no matter how much I beg.
You like sleepovers ^_^
You give good hand massages
I will constantly text you, don’t get annoyed.
You’ll tell me how you feel, not say “I’m fine” -_-
You Don’t mind I’m a huge baby
Ya classy, and by classy I mean you’ll sip cheap wine out of plastic cups.
You like to cuddle
You’re smart. Brains are sexy,
You’ll let me go on and on about how awesome I am, but you know I don’t mean it in any cock way.
You can eat Chinese food basically every night and won’t get sick of it.
You too secretly have a large black woman with sass hidden deep down in you.
You can use chop sticks >_<
You will tell me to shut the fuck up when I need to.
You wouldn’t mind that I have zero tolerance, fo real real. I’m a light weight.
You’ve watched Drawn together.
You’re just an awesome person.

Well just because she feeds me well

And she made me talk dirty in a pink hotel
Doesn't mean she's got eyes for me
She might just want my bones you see

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